When you have a spouse or a family it is exceedingly important to not shut them out for the benefit of your business. Working 18 hour days isn’t benefiting anyone. This article isn’t even going to begin to go into the toll that takes on your health, but you can look for one later.
Not being present is one of the most common regrets people have later in life. The regret of not spending quality time with their spouse and their children during the early years. You don’t want to turn around one day and find yourself wanting to schedule a date with your daughter and realize she’s already left for college. You don’t want to try to go fishing with your son and realize the fishing pole you bought him ‘last year’ only reaches his waist now.
Whether is a quiet dinner with your spouse; your daughter’s 2nd grade play; or your son’s little league baseball game, these are memories that you need to hold dear and your family needs to know it meant enough to you for you to attend. These are moments that you can never get back.
The next step to attending – is actually being present. Standing in the back of the room or out along the left field fence on your phone – is not actually being present. Taking calls while your spouse is trying to talk to you about their day – is not actually listening. In today’s world of constant connectivity – we forget sometimes that it’s “OK” to not check our phones – to not take that call or answer that text immediately. Respect the moment and respect the ones you’re with in that moment.
The last and probably the most difficult part is understanding there is a difference between listening and hearing. Engaging in a conversation is not just waiting for your turn to talk or making your grocery list in your head. It’s hearing what is being said, asking questions to understand more and then following up with advice, enthusiasm or just empathy. Sometimes just having someone to listen means more than any advice.
To be honest, if this isn’t something you are currently doing it can be hard to train yourself. It’s letting go of the distractions of the outside world and not letting your mind wander.
Cuddling with your kids during their favorite movie, reading a book before bedtime, helping craft a card for a birthday party – these are the memories your children will remember. The ones you were present for. The same holds true with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner out or a Broadway play. It just has to be you. … in that moment. Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, side by side. Sharing a bowl of popcorn over a late night movie. Sharing a life – made up of these moments.
The age old secret is this: We all have the same 24 hours in a day. We will make time for what we think is important. It all boils down to Time, Good Communication, Selfless Service and Love. Learn it and implement it! Your life will not have a spot for regrets because it will be filled with moments in which you were present.
